Oh The Tangled Lives We Lead...

This past week has been something of a cosmic dishwasher for me. Let me explain....

Loading the dirty dishes of my life, I dealt with some random life issues as any person does. Stacking clean ones back in my cabinet so to speak, I've just had to repeat the cycle. Though I opened the cafe two consecutive days this week and proceed to babysit right after, I felt slightly on autopilot. So the whole figuring-out-my-life-at-age-22 thing has been halted. Much to my chagrin...I got lazy. There. I said it.

What didn't help is when I spoke to my mother on the phone, she proceeded to list off the ways in which I have failed since college. ~sigh~. Let me amend this phrasing: my mother, like all mothers, is a worry-wart. She frets. She fusses. She sticks her nose where is most certainly isn't needed, and so when  we talked about my lack of health insurance, it somehow became a conversation about my life and how I haven't found a good job, and how I'm not in school like my sister, and how it's hard to find a job ...this makes a girl who already has a deep inclination to worry a lot about what hasn't come to pass (cue Cate Blanchett as Elf Princess Galadriel from Lord of the Rings.) decide to continue to take action, even as it made her more depressed. Finishing quote of the day? Don't get discouraged. Well I wasn't till you started talking Mother Dearest (though I love you most dearly!)

So after having to force myself to apply to jobs that could set my future in motion, I applied to jobs that would hopefully push me into the art world. Wherein I landed an interview as an artist assistant that was Thursday morning (read: early-o'clock). No matter, the interview turned out really well...especially since said artist had A TURTLE NAMED MILLIE!!!!! It was probably the best part of my day and certainly that interview. As for the job...we'll see what happens.

But of course, I still think about my mother's words and how affected by them I was. Which is where my sister Le Leo told me something that I am trying to take to heart because it was just so m*therf*cking profound...she said to me that "Your life is good for you right now" and you know what...that may very well be true. Babysitting and all. I shall ruminate on this...

But seriously, sometimes it's hard figuring out what the next step- scratch that it's ALWAYS hard. Nevertheless, sometimes...the lives we lead are what we are supposed to have sometimes. Sometimes...

Sometimes...A Drink is in Order...

Today's post will mostly be about me. I know I know....but what about March and June? Welp, if you happened to troll through the random description of this blog conveniently located to your right, sometimes I will take the full opportunity to talk about being a 20-something year old in New York. The first thing that comes to mind is that with the fadiculous (note: fadiculous= f*cking+ ridiculous) amount of people that live in NYC, it is still surprisingly lonely. But that's for later.

SO...I think I'll start with how I had a job interview today. Granted, it is a temporary position, but I WILL keep my hopes alive and will hopefully get the job. That being said...I thought it was a great big old sign that a HUGE freak thunderstorm occurred right when I needed to pick up March and June from the camp bus stop. Which was promptly proceeded with hail stones. Yes...in NYC, hail storms the size of dimes. And yes...I did get hit....


Anyways, after a lax day with the tykes, I found myself in a yoga class (Yoga To The People is a great outlet for stress and body movement when you don't have monies. It's donation based so you give what you can...) and hung out with a friend of mine from college. *gAsP!* I know...I still see people my own age- and it is AWESOME. Let's call this friend...Boy Wonder. Yes. Right, so he and I hung out for drinks and you know what, it got me thinking...about how NYC can be super lonely, and make you think about things you wish to the high heavens you didn't. But what was great was that we talked about things I never really get the chance to talk about, even with my roommates, like bouts of "hoomygawd what the HELL am I doing?!?!?!?!". Mostly because I don't actually see my roommates all that often because we work odd hours of each other, and partly because I am a turtle and my room is a big old shell. Either way, it was also nice to reconnect with someone from college who I knew, but am getting to know. And is outside the BGU household. (FYI: BGU= Brown Girls United. This is what we have dubbed our house...) But honestly, how does one survive that drought of lonely that drags it's muddy shoes onto you doorstep, and what do you do once it decides it won't leave? Well gentlefolk, I guess you pour yourself a drink-or have the nice bartender do it for you...cause that could be messy....

When Every Day Feels Like Monday

I've noticed recently that there is that moment everyone has when they forget which day it is.  You know, when you wake up thinking that Friday when really it's just Tuesday or Sunday feels like Thursday.

If you haven't guessed it, this is the moment where I say 'Every day feels like Monday'.

Well...that's because it does.

The concept of weekends/days off is incredibly new to me. I worked weekends in high school, then college, because back then, I choose to, to make a bit of extra money for expenses. Too bad those expenses were not as dire as I once thought. {insert ponder bubble here as I look up forlorningly to the right}. These days, I have to work weekends just to make ends meet. I however, am not the first of my generation who has had to suffer through the weekend to pay bills {see note: TWO JOBS}. There are tons of articles about the rise of people having to work weekends and such. Anyways, back to the real point on hand....


I started babysitting again last night. And as much as I try to be uber blasé about it, I really missed March and June. I picked them up from the bus stop of their day camp, and took them for some FroYo. (Yes...I said FroYo...aka...Frozen Yogurt... like a 90s pop baby. Whatever). To which we spent all of our time laughing and talking about their trip to France and their first day at camp. Our genuine excitement about seeing each other even went so far as us making up a dance routine together where March was "breakdancing", June and I were his backup dancers, and Daddy Camera was surprised at our awesome dance skills.  The kids were also super excited to show me the souvenir they got me, which was...an Eiffel Tower keychain. You don't know this, neither did they, but I collect keychains from places I go, so it fit right in with my other keychains in my collection! (I know...I'm a nerd...but I'm ADORABLE so it's okay)


Needless to say, this excitement may not last, but who knows....o_O. Either way...Mondays don't seem too too bad (though my sleep pattern is f***ed up ROYALLY)

I Will Survive If Gloria Gaynor Lets Me!!!!

Week One has passed dear readers, and I have not died.

Seeing as how my last post was in June, I have to say a lot and equally nothing has happened since July rolled around. I decided to actually view this "abandonment of my job" as an actual vacation. And I can honestly say I had forgotten what a vacation feels like. I haven't technically had one in years, so this is a new and strange feeling for me honestly. The being idle...the free time...ability to do laundry....but it's been really good! I remembered that there are things that I haven't done in forever...like sleep. Or perform as an artist (I had a show last night) or hang out with my twenty-something year old friends  (I forgot people my age existed!) or even...dare I say it...be lazy and watch a stupid amount of television and go to movies.

This may come a shock to you, but I generally have a hard time giving myself time to relax and recoop. So alas...I am just hanging out the days I don't barista. Which I have to say is nice. And besides...my bed has missed me so....

A Reprieve of the Not Wanted Kind...

This week may have been one of the most blistering weeks I have ever experienced in my life as I near my first year living "on my own" in New York. And folks, I don't just mean the rando-heat wave.

On Tuesday morning, I received an early phone call from my paid internship, saying that I had been replaced. {pause with me as we reflect on my life...how exactly does one get replaced at an internship???} Why? Because I apparently didn't give them enough notice about my having to leave for two weeks to do overtime whilst the parents were both shooting. Which ladies and gentlemen, I did in fact. So while I had every intention of going into work on Monday for a full two weeks of making up time I took off, well...that plan is now shot to hell.

I apparently then made it down to Tarturus (just so you know...I've been reading a lot of Percy Jackson. Which I HIGHLY recommend.) when the family I sit for decided on a whim to head to their beach house a week early before their trip to France. I may have actually balked. This therefore comes to mean...that I am literally out of work for 3ish weeks (I still work part-time as a B&N barista, but picking up spare shifts is hard to come by). This is also on top of that month long vacation in August.

After working as a professional babysitter/nanny for the past 10 months, been fired from a job (back in December) and replaced at an internship (this past week), there have been many many MANY lessons that I've learned. And many things that I wish to point out for some parents who decide to hire a personal babysitter/nanny.  Here is my list, let's call it the "Babysitters' Amendments Or: Ways to Not Get Cussed Out":

1) Please respect that sleep is necessary. I like it. You like it. I need it if I am supposed to look after your kids.

2) If you don't plan to actually listen to how I'm doing with my life when you ask me, then for the love of baby Jesus DO NOT ASK.

3) If you hear me talk about struggles of making it on my own, it is NOT adequate to say "okay" or "that sucks". That is not empathy, that is privilege.

4) It is important for you to realize that while there are a growing number of young post graduates who become nannies/babysitters/mannies/etc., please know that there are many life goals we wish to accomplish before middle age. And staying with your family for a long time is not really in the cards.

5) I am not an accessory. Period. If you really have no reason for me to be with you while you are with you child/ren, I would like to leave.

6) While having an internship is swell, being able to have a job to pay your rent and bills is better. And it is a really-tall-roller-coaster-sinking-gut-feeling when you are out of work.

7) Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet when life is telling you to take a break and refigure some stuff out.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not the type to really sit on my a** and mope. I just happen to search for more jobs and mope. No sense in being unproductive.

When All Else Fails...Chuck Some Water.

Yesterday and Tuesday turned out to be one of those days where many things went wrong at once.

Tuesday I wake up from a fitful slumber (it started getting hot man....good lord) to find a barrage of emails and phone calls which I promptly rubbed the sleepies from my eyes (who's really going to see me??) and cleared my throat (tres sexy). After making a second phone call, I spoke with one of my managers with my internship.

Conclusion: I had been "replaced". Replaced means fired in case you are unawares.

All I could think was...this is a load of bullsh*t. Why you might be asking was I replaced? I supposedly gave not no notice about my having to work a crazy amount of hours because the parents were filming. Mind you...I did.

So what happened next? I pouted. A LOT. I mean holy cow really? Just when I was starting to get somewhere with my life. And of course...the folks I babysit don't actually care about what happens in my life. Mostly because I'm only 22 and "hey you'll make it, we have better things to do than make sure you can pay rent and stuff oh by the way can you pick up June at..." So they don't actually know I've been fired. Also...turns out they are leaving for their family trip a week earlier than they told me. Oh...did I not mention that before? Yeah...they're awesome. {eyerolls hideously at the complete lack of consideration}.

Anyways, with the start of the random-a** heatwave, I realized I was getting overwhelming sad (again), anxious (not the first time) and overheated. Which is why I took March to the Waterpark near Chelsea Piers yesterday. And I tell you....I had a lot of fun. Throwing water at a child and having beaucoup amounts of H2O propelled right back at you while running around like a manic, helped sort some things out. Like how to dry your denim shorts really really fast. So while we were sitting under some shade, eating Turbo Rocket Pops (okay...for all of those born BEFORE 2000...we know them as Firecrackers- the red, white and blue pops), I realized that eventually, we're always coming back to square one.

Finding A Dodgeball...

I swear March is a masochist at heart.

Let me start at the beginning....

Because both of March and June's parents are filming, I was asked to put in some overtime with them. This means that I am doing two overnights with them. Anyways, today being the first day, I spent the majority of my time with June (March had a half-day so Producer Lady went to pick him up after an early morning meeting). And if you are new to this blog, you will learn that secretly (and moreso openly) I think that June is an awesome kiddo. She's 11, super smart and ridiculously funny. Like...Tracy Ullman funny. Anyway, I was supposed to figure out ways to occupy her time while March was in school. Taking her literally around the world- by that I mean all over Greenwich Village and Union Square- to stores ranging from Old Navy to J-Crew (did anyone else know J-Crew was HELLA expensive?!?!?!) and my favorite stop: Barnes and Noble.

So with an excess of books in tow, we came back to the apt and played a serious amount of Uno which is my staple as a babysitter! It's super easy to play and kids pick it up really fast. I noticed it also fast tracks young kids to learn matching, colors, adding and sportsmanship. Note that we also made sock puppets! (photos coming soon!) So we were playing and of course, G still had Hebrew homework to do so I played with March. And I kid you not...this child demanded we play Dodgeball.

I wish I could say I adamantly said "No, of course we can't play Dodgeball. It's too dangerous".
Clearly I didn't.

I also wish I could tell you that I didn't intentionally throw the ball at him. Hard.
....Not all the time.

There...I said it. -shrug- I say it builds constitution.

Since I'll be with them for 24/7 just about, we also started working on their homemade Father's Day gift. I threw around some ideas with the kids because their dad (Daddy Camera)  has pretty much everything. So I mentioned mayhaps doing a photo collage with pictures of the two of them together around the apt, outside, as well as old pictures with a letter in the center. They loved the idea and so did Producer Lady so that's what we've been working on on and off during the day (with me acting as paparazzi!)

Needless to say we are excited about how it will turn out. And so we shall end the day watching Finding Nemo.