Imagine you're at a bar, or a red glow-lit coffeehouse, or even a cute little bookstore.
You walk in and scope the scene for old friends for a new evening. Drinking and laughing, you turn your head and see someone that knocks the breathe out of your diaphragm. Hard. You're all excited. The two of you chat and figure out you gel together and can see a good, long future together.
Now...let's replace the bar with a park, that book with a stroller, and that drink with a cellphone
...this is what happens in the mind of a mother of several kids as she meets a new babysitter.
I'm serious. Apparently it is hard these days for New York moms to find a decent babysitter. But let's backtrack a little bit. I happen to work not one, not two, but three jobs (sh*t gets serial people trying to make ends meet but rest assured I DO sleep. Some of the time....), one of those jobs being with a kids media company in Union Sq. (I sense a trend in your life D.Babysitter....kids all the time???) My boss asked me if I take any gigs on the weekend. My general rule is no. If I spend the majority of my week with children, I want to at least pretend to have grown-up time with bigger people. And I sometimes work on the weekends courtesy of B&N. But, I wasn't doing anything, and having a little bit of extra pocket money makes everyone happy so I accepted a Sunday gig, especially cause it was in the morning.
Now her kids were pretty awesome. Two boys ages 7 and 4.5. So 7 was really mature for his age (which seems to happen when you grow up in New York) and 4.5 just talked a lot. Wow. Both loved playing together which made things a lot easier since the age gap was smaller so they know how to be with each other unlike March and June. So for the four hours I was with them, we played indoor soccer and a mega game of Uno. With two decks. (Uno Awesome? YEEESSSSSSS) and had a foot race to the corner store. Tip: If you're concerned about working out...just have a foot race with a small child. They get tired faster than you think and you get a serious cardio work out. Yippee!
So that night when I got home, I get this text asking if I could be "booked" for a few more weekends cause her kids loved me. And I got mad. Who was this woman who wanted all of my time and assumed I could/wanted to babysit? Now I work on the weekends and don't necessarily have free time. Not even for myself let alone to babysit. No matter how much money I may need. So having "declined" the next few dates she offered and after trying to help her find a new sitter, I realized something. Moms who find a babysitter that they can't keep is like finding a potential suitor who has to leave the country the next day; you know that there was "something" there, but, it is ultimately still a rejection. It's a serious investment for them and that makes sense. Inviting someone to engage with your children is a tricky business, especially a babysitter who is really good at what they do and makes your kids laugh and have fun. Feelings get hurt, blah blah blah, but this was an important lesson for me. Sometimes...it's better to say no so that you don't start something you can't finish. Or end up with more people to babysit besides well...yourself. :-/
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