Clearly not for me! :-(
But unfortunately June came down with a serious a** cold. Like...stay home from school. I was asked to come in around 11am today to stick around and hang out with June. Now granted...today was the one day where my work day starts at 3pm when I pick March up from school. And seeing as how I work crazy hours, all day everyday, I was a bit miffed. That meant that I had to wake up early...again.
But I have to say...sometimes sick days are kinda awesome. I'm hanging out with June and realized that I don't actually get to hang out with her that much from the occasional UES school pickup. Which is interesting considering I'm also technically her babysitter and not just March's. So we spent the morning and early afternoon watching really awful ABC Family movies, mainly Teen Spirit- though I have no shame in admitting that I thoroughly enjoyed Princess Protection Program. Mostly cause I like Demi Lovato for no reason.
But hanging out with June made me realize something...she just really wants to be a ten year old who has quasi-bad tastes in movies and to just chill for a little bit. Which I get. If I were on the move as much as she, I'd want a break too! Her mom (June's) wants her to have this structured life so she's constantly on the go- gymnastics, lacrosse, viola, and a whole bunch of other mess that I didn't really start till I was 14. (This is me in COMPLETE denial about how much I work and do and blahblahblahblah) So how do you deal with this- a child who wants to be a child and still work within a parents system of what works in their house? Well...I let her go "rogue" sometimes. Let her watch more movies. And laugh. And joke with around. So while I'm laughing at her and her Rusty Spoons voice, I'm having more fun than I thought. Granted, she's ten and probably had a lot of tv time for being sick (as for me my parents always worked so I was stuck in front of the idiot box ALL the time)- so when her mom, Producer Lady got home from her meeting today, she was fuming about the tv. (which is ironic seeing as how Producer Lady produces well...movies)
Now, PL and I have had to have a conversation. Once upon a time I was too strict, asking June if she finished her homework constantly, teaching them discipline through timeouts and such, etc., and PL did not like it. It was explained to me that there is already enough discipline between her, school and sports stuff- and that June is a super mature kid who can get her act together about what she needs to do, so I can leave her be and really focus on March. Therefy, that means that I am meant to be...wait for it...the FUN babysitter who gets to laugh and play with the kids! So now I have no boundary of what to do with this kid. Being with her is different than March...there is a different tactic involved.
I just...haven't figured it out yet....
Showing posts with label You want me to do what?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label You want me to do what?. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
And When They Think They Got You...or Don't Start Things When You Shouldn't
Imagine you're at a bar, or a red glow-lit coffeehouse, or even a cute little bookstore.
You walk in and scope the scene for old friends for a new evening. Drinking and laughing, you turn your head and see someone that knocks the breathe out of your diaphragm. Hard. You're all excited. The two of you chat and figure out you gel together and can see a good, long future together.
Now...let's replace the bar with a park, that book with a stroller, and that drink with a cellphone
...this is what happens in the mind of a mother of several kids as she meets a new babysitter.
I'm serious. Apparently it is hard these days for New York moms to find a decent babysitter. But let's backtrack a little bit. I happen to work not one, not two, but three jobs (sh*t gets serial people trying to make ends meet but rest assured I DO sleep. Some of the time....), one of those jobs being with a kids media company in Union Sq. (I sense a trend in your life D.Babysitter....kids all the time???) My boss asked me if I take any gigs on the weekend. My general rule is no. If I spend the majority of my week with children, I want to at least pretend to have grown-up time with bigger people. And I sometimes work on the weekends courtesy of B&N. But, I wasn't doing anything, and having a little bit of extra pocket money makes everyone happy so I accepted a Sunday gig, especially cause it was in the morning.
Now her kids were pretty awesome. Two boys ages 7 and 4.5. So 7 was really mature for his age (which seems to happen when you grow up in New York) and 4.5 just talked a lot. Wow. Both loved playing together which made things a lot easier since the age gap was smaller so they know how to be with each other unlike March and June. So for the four hours I was with them, we played indoor soccer and a mega game of Uno. With two decks. (Uno Awesome? YEEESSSSSSS) and had a foot race to the corner store. Tip: If you're concerned about working out...just have a foot race with a small child. They get tired faster than you think and you get a serious cardio work out. Yippee!
So that night when I got home, I get this text asking if I could be "booked" for a few more weekends cause her kids loved me. And I got mad. Who was this woman who wanted all of my time and assumed I could/wanted to babysit? Now I work on the weekends and don't necessarily have free time. Not even for myself let alone to babysit. No matter how much money I may need. So having "declined" the next few dates she offered and after trying to help her find a new sitter, I realized something. Moms who find a babysitter that they can't keep is like finding a potential suitor who has to leave the country the next day; you know that there was "something" there, but, it is ultimately still a rejection. It's a serious investment for them and that makes sense. Inviting someone to engage with your children is a tricky business, especially a babysitter who is really good at what they do and makes your kids laugh and have fun. Feelings get hurt, blah blah blah, but this was an important lesson for me. Sometimes...it's better to say no so that you don't start something you can't finish. Or end up with more people to babysit besides well...yourself. :-/
You walk in and scope the scene for old friends for a new evening. Drinking and laughing, you turn your head and see someone that knocks the breathe out of your diaphragm. Hard. You're all excited. The two of you chat and figure out you gel together and can see a good, long future together.
Now...let's replace the bar with a park, that book with a stroller, and that drink with a cellphone
...this is what happens in the mind of a mother of several kids as she meets a new babysitter.
I'm serious. Apparently it is hard these days for New York moms to find a decent babysitter. But let's backtrack a little bit. I happen to work not one, not two, but three jobs (sh*t gets serial people trying to make ends meet but rest assured I DO sleep. Some of the time....), one of those jobs being with a kids media company in Union Sq. (I sense a trend in your life D.Babysitter....kids all the time???) My boss asked me if I take any gigs on the weekend. My general rule is no. If I spend the majority of my week with children, I want to at least pretend to have grown-up time with bigger people. And I sometimes work on the weekends courtesy of B&N. But, I wasn't doing anything, and having a little bit of extra pocket money makes everyone happy so I accepted a Sunday gig, especially cause it was in the morning.
Now her kids were pretty awesome. Two boys ages 7 and 4.5. So 7 was really mature for his age (which seems to happen when you grow up in New York) and 4.5 just talked a lot. Wow. Both loved playing together which made things a lot easier since the age gap was smaller so they know how to be with each other unlike March and June. So for the four hours I was with them, we played indoor soccer and a mega game of Uno. With two decks. (Uno Awesome? YEEESSSSSSS) and had a foot race to the corner store. Tip: If you're concerned about working out...just have a foot race with a small child. They get tired faster than you think and you get a serious cardio work out. Yippee!
So that night when I got home, I get this text asking if I could be "booked" for a few more weekends cause her kids loved me. And I got mad. Who was this woman who wanted all of my time and assumed I could/wanted to babysit? Now I work on the weekends and don't necessarily have free time. Not even for myself let alone to babysit. No matter how much money I may need. So having "declined" the next few dates she offered and after trying to help her find a new sitter, I realized something. Moms who find a babysitter that they can't keep is like finding a potential suitor who has to leave the country the next day; you know that there was "something" there, but, it is ultimately still a rejection. It's a serious investment for them and that makes sense. Inviting someone to engage with your children is a tricky business, especially a babysitter who is really good at what they do and makes your kids laugh and have fun. Feelings get hurt, blah blah blah, but this was an important lesson for me. Sometimes...it's better to say no so that you don't start something you can't finish. Or end up with more people to babysit besides well...yourself. :-/
Monday, April 16, 2012
Why Everyone, Including Adults, Need Time-Outs too (ESPECIALLY when you are 22...)
So kids are funny.
Perhaps it's by design where the size of their craniums don't quite sync up to their body weight so that they just fall over ever...so......slowly. Or maybe it is by sheer accident because their black and white vision allows them to not be so grown up and complicate already discombobulated emotions (there's that English major...). I say this because over the weekend, MANY life factures (both kid and grown-up sized) collided like the good ol' Big Bang. Here's what happened:
I had to spend the previous week dealing with personal family affairs which caused me to have to not only leave town, but leave my babysitting job a day early. Compounded with lady hormones and preexisting life conditions called "I-don't-really-need-to-deal-with-this-motherf*****-s***. Period." I just was having a tough time being around young things. So as you can already forsee, things may not turn out so well. Now I have the fortune of babysitting a brother and sister pair who are 5 years apart. Seeing as they will be the frequent topic of conversation, I shall call the six year old boy March and the 10-nearing-11 year old sister June (I usually only babysit March....I'm a paid playdate essentially! And June is just way too mature for her own good and had a life schedule I secretly envy). March and I have a tenuous relationship in which I often wonder if he is really a forty-six year old man in a little boy body or if he is just bonkers for NO REASON. (I often find that I ask him unbeknownst to my brain 'Who are you March?" to which he will look up at me contemplatively and say "...I'm March D.Babysitter. -Blinks- You're so crazy...". This has actually happened. No, seriously.) Despite this random age/time-vortexy thingy, we usually have a lot of fun together. Like stupid I don't wanna grow-Toys 'R Us fun.
Back to the story. So March misses his father a great deal, who is in LA currently filming tv shows and having essentially my life. What has become apparent is that this "missing a parent syndrome" can manifest in many ways in a little body. Most of them are ugly. And most of them requiring a LOT of patience from you as a babysitter/caregiver. Both things which I didn't have that day. For March, it was a combination of clinging to his Mother and crying at her having to leave him with me, and not listening to me or anyone (which for a six year old he is generally very good about). So, to assuage the time we had left, March and I played Spies. It was very aerodynamic and cardio. And involved Nerf guns. Which was SO EPIC. So June finally finished her homework for the night and joined us. Here is where the pole heads South. June and March don't get along. At all. I think this has a lot to do with their 5 year age gap and they don't often play together. But when they do play is it On-like-Donkey-Kong-kids-so-tell-Crash-Bandicoot-to-Move-over. They were rough. And March just couldn't understand that when someone said 'Stop', it was not a suggestion. This my readers, resulted in a March experience a five-min timeout. (Tip of the day: How to make Time Outs Effective.)
I had to sit down and explain to him why the time-out had happened. I found that it was important to really break down that he isn't bad or not good, but that he did something that wasn't good. Differentiation is KEY. This helped him understand that a fun activity stops being fun when not everyone is happy. Now he wasn't too happy about the time out and neither was the mom surprisingly- but that's a different post altogether- and there were probably things I did that weren't so great (cause I'm only 22...yes...yes I am), but all you can do is try. However, I was scared when picking him up from school today that things between us were going to create even more static between us. Sure enough, I walked up to his kindergarden line and he popped up like a Spring Weed and grabbed my hand and off we went to the park where I got a tan, he got sunburned (only slightly!), and we read Star Wars books.
I suppose this really became a lesson about how even adults need time out too. I had to learn things won't always be right when you babysit. Even if you are quite good at it.
Perhaps it's by design where the size of their craniums don't quite sync up to their body weight so that they just fall over ever...so......slowly. Or maybe it is by sheer accident because their black and white vision allows them to not be so grown up and complicate already discombobulated emotions (there's that English major...). I say this because over the weekend, MANY life factures (both kid and grown-up sized) collided like the good ol' Big Bang. Here's what happened:
I had to spend the previous week dealing with personal family affairs which caused me to have to not only leave town, but leave my babysitting job a day early. Compounded with lady hormones and preexisting life conditions called "I-don't-really-need-to-deal-with-this-motherf*****-s***. Period." I just was having a tough time being around young things. So as you can already forsee, things may not turn out so well. Now I have the fortune of babysitting a brother and sister pair who are 5 years apart. Seeing as they will be the frequent topic of conversation, I shall call the six year old boy March and the 10-nearing-11 year old sister June (I usually only babysit March....I'm a paid playdate essentially! And June is just way too mature for her own good and had a life schedule I secretly envy). March and I have a tenuous relationship in which I often wonder if he is really a forty-six year old man in a little boy body or if he is just bonkers for NO REASON. (I often find that I ask him unbeknownst to my brain 'Who are you March?" to which he will look up at me contemplatively and say "...I'm March D.Babysitter. -Blinks- You're so crazy...". This has actually happened. No, seriously.) Despite this random age/time-vortexy thingy, we usually have a lot of fun together. Like stupid I don't wanna grow-Toys 'R Us fun.
Back to the story. So March misses his father a great deal, who is in LA currently filming tv shows and having essentially my life. What has become apparent is that this "missing a parent syndrome" can manifest in many ways in a little body. Most of them are ugly. And most of them requiring a LOT of patience from you as a babysitter/caregiver. Both things which I didn't have that day. For March, it was a combination of clinging to his Mother and crying at her having to leave him with me, and not listening to me or anyone (which for a six year old he is generally very good about). So, to assuage the time we had left, March and I played Spies. It was very aerodynamic and cardio. And involved Nerf guns. Which was SO EPIC. So June finally finished her homework for the night and joined us. Here is where the pole heads South. June and March don't get along. At all. I think this has a lot to do with their 5 year age gap and they don't often play together. But when they do play is it On-like-Donkey-Kong-kids-so-tell-Crash-Bandicoot-to-Move-over. They were rough. And March just couldn't understand that when someone said 'Stop', it was not a suggestion. This my readers, resulted in a March experience a five-min timeout. (Tip of the day: How to make Time Outs Effective.)
I had to sit down and explain to him why the time-out had happened. I found that it was important to really break down that he isn't bad or not good, but that he did something that wasn't good. Differentiation is KEY. This helped him understand that a fun activity stops being fun when not everyone is happy. Now he wasn't too happy about the time out and neither was the mom surprisingly- but that's a different post altogether- and there were probably things I did that weren't so great (cause I'm only 22...yes...yes I am), but all you can do is try. However, I was scared when picking him up from school today that things between us were going to create even more static between us. Sure enough, I walked up to his kindergarden line and he popped up like a Spring Weed and grabbed my hand and off we went to the park where I got a tan, he got sunburned (only slightly!), and we read Star Wars books.
I suppose this really became a lesson about how even adults need time out too. I had to learn things won't always be right when you babysit. Even if you are quite good at it.
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