A Reprieve of the Not Wanted Kind...

This week may have been one of the most blistering weeks I have ever experienced in my life as I near my first year living "on my own" in New York. And folks, I don't just mean the rando-heat wave.

On Tuesday morning, I received an early phone call from my paid internship, saying that I had been replaced. {pause with me as we reflect on my life...how exactly does one get replaced at an internship???} Why? Because I apparently didn't give them enough notice about my having to leave for two weeks to do overtime whilst the parents were both shooting. Which ladies and gentlemen, I did in fact. So while I had every intention of going into work on Monday for a full two weeks of making up time I took off, well...that plan is now shot to hell.

I apparently then made it down to Tarturus (just so you know...I've been reading a lot of Percy Jackson. Which I HIGHLY recommend.) when the family I sit for decided on a whim to head to their beach house a week early before their trip to France. I may have actually balked. This therefore comes to mean...that I am literally out of work for 3ish weeks (I still work part-time as a B&N barista, but picking up spare shifts is hard to come by). This is also on top of that month long vacation in August.

After working as a professional babysitter/nanny for the past 10 months, been fired from a job (back in December) and replaced at an internship (this past week), there have been many many MANY lessons that I've learned. And many things that I wish to point out for some parents who decide to hire a personal babysitter/nanny.  Here is my list, let's call it the "Babysitters' Amendments Or: Ways to Not Get Cussed Out":

1) Please respect that sleep is necessary. I like it. You like it. I need it if I am supposed to look after your kids.

2) If you don't plan to actually listen to how I'm doing with my life when you ask me, then for the love of baby Jesus DO NOT ASK.

3) If you hear me talk about struggles of making it on my own, it is NOT adequate to say "okay" or "that sucks". That is not empathy, that is privilege.

4) It is important for you to realize that while there are a growing number of young post graduates who become nannies/babysitters/mannies/etc., please know that there are many life goals we wish to accomplish before middle age. And staying with your family for a long time is not really in the cards.

5) I am not an accessory. Period. If you really have no reason for me to be with you while you are with you child/ren, I would like to leave.

6) While having an internship is swell, being able to have a job to pay your rent and bills is better. And it is a really-tall-roller-coaster-sinking-gut-feeling when you are out of work.

7) Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet when life is telling you to take a break and refigure some stuff out.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not the type to really sit on my a** and mope. I just happen to search for more jobs and mope. No sense in being unproductive.

And When They Think They Got You...or Don't Start Things When You Shouldn't

Imagine you're at a bar, or a red glow-lit coffeehouse, or even a cute little bookstore.

You walk in and scope the scene for old friends for a new evening. Drinking and laughing, you turn your head and see someone that knocks the breathe out of your diaphragm. Hard. You're all excited. The two of you chat and figure out you gel together and can see a good, long future together.

Now...let's replace the bar with a park, that book with a stroller, and that drink with a cellphone
...this is what happens in the mind of a mother of several kids as she meets a new babysitter.

I'm serious. Apparently it is hard these days for New York moms to find a decent babysitter. But let's backtrack a little bit. I happen to work not one, not two, but three jobs (sh*t gets serial people trying to make ends meet but rest assured I DO sleep. Some of the time....), one of those jobs being with a kids media company in Union Sq. (I sense a trend in your life D.Babysitter....kids all the time???) My boss asked me if I take any gigs on the weekend. My general rule is no. If I spend the majority of my week with children, I want to at least pretend to have grown-up time with bigger people. And I sometimes work on the weekends courtesy of B&N. But, I wasn't doing anything, and having a little bit of extra pocket money makes everyone happy so I accepted a Sunday gig, especially cause it was in the morning.

Now her kids were pretty awesome. Two boys ages 7 and 4.5. So 7 was really mature for his age (which seems to happen when you grow up in New York) and 4.5 just talked a lot. Wow. Both loved playing together which made things a lot easier since the age gap was smaller so they know how to be with each other unlike March and June. So for the four hours I was with them, we played indoor soccer and a mega game of Uno. With two decks. (Uno Awesome? YEEESSSSSSS) and had a foot race to the corner store. Tip: If you're concerned about working out...just have a foot race with a small child. They get tired faster than you think and you get a serious cardio work out. Yippee!

So that night when I got home, I get this text asking if I could be "booked" for a few more weekends cause her kids loved me. And I got mad. Who was this woman who wanted all of my time and assumed I could/wanted to babysit? Now I work on the weekends and don't necessarily have free time. Not even for myself let alone to babysit. No matter how much money I may need. So having "declined" the next few dates she offered and after trying to help her find a new sitter, I realized something. Moms who find a babysitter that they can't keep is like finding a potential suitor who has to leave the country the next day; you know that there was "something" there, but, it is ultimately still a rejection. It's a serious investment for them and that makes sense. Inviting someone to engage with your children is a tricky business, especially a babysitter who is really good at what they do and makes your kids laugh and have fun. Feelings get hurt, blah blah blah, but this was an important lesson for me. Sometimes...it's better to say no so that you don't start something you can't finish. Or end up with more people to babysit besides well...yourself. :-/