To Full Time or Not to Full Time...or Hamlet...you didn't REALLY have problems hon...

So the past few weeks I've been reconciling that summer was over. And by doing so had to admit to myself that I really enjoyed not working with the Producer Lady. While I had been mildly stressed out- okay- frantically stressed out about how the cost of living in NYC would be affected by having one job less, I realized that there was a sense of freedom that occurred without constantly thinking about June and March.

But what has followed took me by surprise.

While I spent a great deal of time living the young 20-something life (aside: my birthday is officially 13 days from now), I would realize while I worked at B&N how much I missed those two crazies. I would see kids in the store and talk with them and joke and afterwards always have that clarifying "damn" moment after they leave. I ended up sitting for the Von Film Family for a day about 2 weeks ago, and PL had forgotten to mention to them that I would be sitting them for the day. So they woke up one at a time to see me in their new house and were so excited and happy to see me. And we were having the best day together at Washington Sq Park when it hit me...I might not be with you two for the next year. Within the past few weeks I've continued my job search to find "my calling"- which really means a full time job with benefits that will make me more or less happy- and have been having call backs and interviews. I should be elated right?!?!?!

Which makes me realize yet another point...that despite how much I have been frustrated by this job as a babysitter, the thing that made it worth while were those little boogers. And this has led me to become stuck readers, stuck in a place where I can't move forward but don't necessarily want to move backwards either. I find that now, every decision is based on whether or not they'll be fine if I leave (which I'm positive they will be...at least I know June would be) or if I really want to take a 9-5/10-6 because I have talked myself into really "loving" the fact that I can wake up late days and do as I feel. But really...I guess I'm scared of what happens to me if I leave them.

Did the Nanny from The Nanny Diaries ever feel like this?

Either way, I suppose that this is what they meant when they you're not in Kansas anymore....

Sometimes...A Drink is in Order...

Today's post will mostly be about me. I know I know....but what about March and June? Welp, if you happened to troll through the random description of this blog conveniently located to your right, sometimes I will take the full opportunity to talk about being a 20-something year old in New York. The first thing that comes to mind is that with the fadiculous (note: fadiculous= f*cking+ ridiculous) amount of people that live in NYC, it is still surprisingly lonely. But that's for later.

SO...I think I'll start with how I had a job interview today. Granted, it is a temporary position, but I WILL keep my hopes alive and will hopefully get the job. That being said...I thought it was a great big old sign that a HUGE freak thunderstorm occurred right when I needed to pick up March and June from the camp bus stop. Which was promptly proceeded with hail stones. Yes...in NYC, hail storms the size of dimes. And yes...I did get hit....


Anyways, after a lax day with the tykes, I found myself in a yoga class (Yoga To The People is a great outlet for stress and body movement when you don't have monies. It's donation based so you give what you can...) and hung out with a friend of mine from college. *gAsP!* I know...I still see people my own age- and it is AWESOME. Let's call this friend...Boy Wonder. Yes. Right, so he and I hung out for drinks and you know what, it got me thinking...about how NYC can be super lonely, and make you think about things you wish to the high heavens you didn't. But what was great was that we talked about things I never really get the chance to talk about, even with my roommates, like bouts of "hoomygawd what the HELL am I doing?!?!?!?!". Mostly because I don't actually see my roommates all that often because we work odd hours of each other, and partly because I am a turtle and my room is a big old shell. Either way, it was also nice to reconnect with someone from college who I knew, but am getting to know. And is outside the BGU household. (FYI: BGU= Brown Girls United. This is what we have dubbed our house...) But honestly, how does one survive that drought of lonely that drags it's muddy shoes onto you doorstep, and what do you do once it decides it won't leave? Well gentlefolk, I guess you pour yourself a drink-or have the nice bartender do it for you...cause that could be messy....

When Every Day Feels Like Monday

I've noticed recently that there is that moment everyone has when they forget which day it is.  You know, when you wake up thinking that Friday when really it's just Tuesday or Sunday feels like Thursday.

If you haven't guessed it, this is the moment where I say 'Every day feels like Monday'.

Well...that's because it does.

The concept of weekends/days off is incredibly new to me. I worked weekends in high school, then college, because back then, I choose to, to make a bit of extra money for expenses. Too bad those expenses were not as dire as I once thought. {insert ponder bubble here as I look up forlorningly to the right}. These days, I have to work weekends just to make ends meet. I however, am not the first of my generation who has had to suffer through the weekend to pay bills {see note: TWO JOBS}. There are tons of articles about the rise of people having to work weekends and such. Anyways, back to the real point on hand....


I started babysitting again last night. And as much as I try to be uber blasé about it, I really missed March and June. I picked them up from the bus stop of their day camp, and took them for some FroYo. (Yes...I said FroYo...aka...Frozen Yogurt... like a 90s pop baby. Whatever). To which we spent all of our time laughing and talking about their trip to France and their first day at camp. Our genuine excitement about seeing each other even went so far as us making up a dance routine together where March was "breakdancing", June and I were his backup dancers, and Daddy Camera was surprised at our awesome dance skills.  The kids were also super excited to show me the souvenir they got me, which was...an Eiffel Tower keychain. You don't know this, neither did they, but I collect keychains from places I go, so it fit right in with my other keychains in my collection! (I know...I'm a nerd...but I'm ADORABLE so it's okay)


Needless to say, this excitement may not last, but who knows....o_O. Either way...Mondays don't seem too too bad (though my sleep pattern is f***ed up ROYALLY)

The Moment Where You REALLY Question Your Life Choices

I should preface this first post by making the following statement:
                                   ....I have no idea what I'm doing with my life.

I should also preface the aforementioned statement with the following statement:
                ....No one does. Though, some people are very good at presenting
                                                  a semblance of order.

There are many days where I wake up, stressed out and in a severe sweat- something that my sheets and I have had many conversations about- simply worried about how I plan to pay my rent. And my gas and water bill. And my credit card bill. And that sponsorship for a child in Equador or the DR I managed to get talked into on the street. Oh...and that pesky little thing called Student Loans. (grrrrr.....) One thing that your Provost/College President/Big Kahuna of the Academic kind doesn't tell you during your commencement (I went to a LibArts college and this is the apparent name for when you get your degree) ceremony is that, getting a job out of college is easy...in theory. Or rather....MY College President didn't tell me that (granted I may have kind of, sort of, nappedduringtheceremonywhatever).

So after college, I wanted to be a big kid and move out of my parents' house from Jersey and to New York. With $500 in my bank account post graduation. Not the smoothest move, but hey, I didn't major in mathematics. (African American Studies and English majors and Studio Art minor respectively thank you very much) Anywho,  let's just say that within a period of 4 hours that $500- which is quite a lot of money when you're in Nowhere, OH doing Not So Much- went Bye Bye faster than Birdie. Therefore, in order to make sure I didn't die of COMPLETE starvation (let's call it "functional hunger") while I had my trusty internship at hand, because said internship at the time only paid about $55 per WEEK, I had to succumb to the powers that be of the financial kind...

I became a babysitter. An awesome one at that. To which I will tell you next time...(insert maniacal laughter)