So the past few weeks I've been reconciling that summer was over. And by doing so had to admit to myself that I really enjoyed not working with the Producer Lady. While I had been mildly stressed out- okay- frantically stressed out about how the cost of living in NYC would be affected by having one job less, I realized that there was a sense of freedom that occurred without constantly thinking about June and March.
But what has followed took me by surprise.
While I spent a great deal of time living the young 20-something life (aside: my birthday is officially 13 days from now), I would realize while I worked at B&N how much I missed those two crazies. I would see kids in the store and talk with them and joke and afterwards always have that clarifying "damn" moment after they leave. I ended up sitting for the Von Film Family for a day about 2 weeks ago, and PL had forgotten to mention to them that I would be sitting them for the day. So they woke up one at a time to see me in their new house and were so excited and happy to see me. And we were having the best day together at Washington Sq Park when it hit me...I might not be with you two for the next year. Within the past few weeks I've continued my job search to find "my calling"- which really means a full time job with benefits that will make me more or less happy- and have been having call backs and interviews. I should be elated right?!?!?!
Which makes me realize yet another point...that despite how much I have been frustrated by this job as a babysitter, the thing that made it worth while were those little boogers. And this has led me to become stuck readers, stuck in a place where I can't move forward but don't necessarily want to move backwards either. I find that now, every decision is based on whether or not they'll be fine if I leave (which I'm positive they will be...at least I know June would be) or if I really want to take a 9-5/10-6 because I have talked myself into really "loving" the fact that I can wake up late days and do as I feel. But really...I guess I'm scared of what happens to me if I leave them.
Did the Nanny from The Nanny Diaries ever feel like this?
Either way, I suppose that this is what they meant when they you're not in Kansas anymore....
Showing posts with label It's Hard Being 20-Something. Show all posts
Showing posts with label It's Hard Being 20-Something. Show all posts
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
A Story of the Jobless, the Hungry, and the Wild Expectations of Mothers.
...I wonder if it would be malicious if I somehow found a full time job, w/ benefits, before the end of August JUST so that I say to the family I babysit for..."Sorry, I'm pulling a Nanny McPhee and getting the f*ck outta here. BYE!!!" I feel that a great satisfaction/vindication would come out of such a glorious moment.
It's okay...you can tell me I'm a horrible person. I think that sometimes.
All I know is...is that it is week two of not working steadily and my bank account is feeling IT. And if you knew me personally, I'm not one to lavishly spend money on myself or things I want and/or need. (please revisit the last post if you have not learned of my broke post-collegiate ways...) So it's been kinda tough. Meaning....-sigh- I'm job hunting. Still...
Anyway, about the lavishly spending money part. So last night after an extra shift I picked up at B&N, I went out to dinner with a friend of mine whom you've met on this blog, Awesome Friend! (HI Awesome Friend!!!!) Awesome Friend continues to be her namesake because of not only our disregard towards our former internship that we shared together, but because she tells me about awesome food places. This time, it was a Latin American restaurant in Brooklyn called Bogota (as in Columbia, yes.) The food? Amazing. The caparinhas? PHENOMENAL! Anyways, over deliciousness that was entering our mouths, we talked about life, job hunting, and friends who babysit for a living like myself. And now... I have a story for you that I learned from AF.
There once was a girl name Graduate. Who babysat in the Hamptons. "Her" family decided that she wasn't needed for a while so they set her free, never letting on if she would be needed again. She found another part time job and immediately was told by the Lady Mother of the family that "something came up" and that they needed her desperately. Alas, young Graduate was unavailable to work at such times needed by the matriarch of the family. When she humbly revealed such conflict to the Lady Mother, she exclaimed with great distain how Graduate must learn "to not selfish and think only of herself, as the family needs her". Graduate was overcome with hurt, and because she was timid, uttered nay an ill-formed word upon the horror that was...the Lady Mother. The End.
Crazy isn't it? And that's a true story. Now...this is actually what goes on in maybe mother's heads when they find that their babysitter isn't available. I've had Producer Lady tell she'll freak out if one day told her that I had to leave their service on many occasions.
As you read this...I hope you know that I would love to see that moment. I know...{slaps hand} I'm a bad person. But THAT...is bad employer-ship. Whatever.
It's okay...you can tell me I'm a horrible person. I think that sometimes.
All I know is...is that it is week two of not working steadily and my bank account is feeling IT. And if you knew me personally, I'm not one to lavishly spend money on myself or things I want and/or need. (please revisit the last post if you have not learned of my broke post-collegiate ways...) So it's been kinda tough. Meaning....-sigh- I'm job hunting. Still...
Anyway, about the lavishly spending money part. So last night after an extra shift I picked up at B&N, I went out to dinner with a friend of mine whom you've met on this blog, Awesome Friend! (HI Awesome Friend!!!!) Awesome Friend continues to be her namesake because of not only our disregard towards our former internship that we shared together, but because she tells me about awesome food places. This time, it was a Latin American restaurant in Brooklyn called Bogota (as in Columbia, yes.) The food? Amazing. The caparinhas? PHENOMENAL! Anyways, over deliciousness that was entering our mouths, we talked about life, job hunting, and friends who babysit for a living like myself. And now... I have a story for you that I learned from AF.
There once was a girl name Graduate. Who babysat in the Hamptons. "Her" family decided that she wasn't needed for a while so they set her free, never letting on if she would be needed again. She found another part time job and immediately was told by the Lady Mother of the family that "something came up" and that they needed her desperately. Alas, young Graduate was unavailable to work at such times needed by the matriarch of the family. When she humbly revealed such conflict to the Lady Mother, she exclaimed with great distain how Graduate must learn "to not selfish and think only of herself, as the family needs her". Graduate was overcome with hurt, and because she was timid, uttered nay an ill-formed word upon the horror that was...the Lady Mother. The End.
Crazy isn't it? And that's a true story. Now...this is actually what goes on in maybe mother's heads when they find that their babysitter isn't available. I've had Producer Lady tell she'll freak out if one day told her that I had to leave their service on many occasions.
As you read this...I hope you know that I would love to see that moment. I know...{slaps hand} I'm a bad person. But THAT...is bad employer-ship. Whatever.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Oh The Tangled Lives We Lead...
This past week has been something of a cosmic dishwasher for me. Let me explain....
Loading the dirty dishes of my life, I dealt with some random life issues as any person does. Stacking clean ones back in my cabinet so to speak, I've just had to repeat the cycle. Though I opened the cafe two consecutive days this week and proceed to babysit right after, I felt slightly on autopilot. So the whole figuring-out-my-life-at-age-22 thing has been halted. Much to my chagrin...I got lazy. There. I said it.
What didn't help is when I spoke to my mother on the phone, she proceeded to list off the ways in which I have failed since college. ~sigh~. Let me amend this phrasing: my mother, like all mothers, is a worry-wart. She frets. She fusses. She sticks her nose where is most certainly isn't needed, and so when we talked about my lack of health insurance, it somehow became a conversation about my life and how I haven't found a good job, and how I'm not in school like my sister, and how it's hard to find a job ...this makes a girl who already has a deep inclination to worry a lot about what hasn't come to pass (cue Cate Blanchett as Elf Princess Galadriel from Lord of the Rings.) decide to continue to take action, even as it made her more depressed. Finishing quote of the day? Don't get discouraged. Well I wasn't till you started talking Mother Dearest (though I love you most dearly!)
So after having to force myself to apply to jobs that could set my future in motion, I applied to jobs that would hopefully push me into the art world. Wherein I landed an interview as an artist assistant that was Thursday morning (read: early-o'clock). No matter, the interview turned out really well...especially since said artist had A TURTLE NAMED MILLIE!!!!! It was probably the best part of my day and certainly that interview. As for the job...we'll see what happens.
But of course, I still think about my mother's words and how affected by them I was. Which is where my sister Le Leo told me something that I am trying to take to heart because it was just so m*therf*cking profound...she said to me that "Your life is good for you right now" and you know what...that may very well be true. Babysitting and all. I shall ruminate on this...
But seriously, sometimes it's hard figuring out what the next step- scratch that it's ALWAYS hard. Nevertheless, sometimes...the lives we lead are what we are supposed to have sometimes. Sometimes...
Loading the dirty dishes of my life, I dealt with some random life issues as any person does. Stacking clean ones back in my cabinet so to speak, I've just had to repeat the cycle. Though I opened the cafe two consecutive days this week and proceed to babysit right after, I felt slightly on autopilot. So the whole figuring-out-my-life-at-age-22 thing has been halted. Much to my chagrin...I got lazy. There. I said it.
What didn't help is when I spoke to my mother on the phone, she proceeded to list off the ways in which I have failed since college. ~sigh~. Let me amend this phrasing: my mother, like all mothers, is a worry-wart. She frets. She fusses. She sticks her nose where is most certainly isn't needed, and so when we talked about my lack of health insurance, it somehow became a conversation about my life and how I haven't found a good job, and how I'm not in school like my sister, and how it's hard to find a job ...this makes a girl who already has a deep inclination to worry a lot about what hasn't come to pass (cue Cate Blanchett as Elf Princess Galadriel from Lord of the Rings.) decide to continue to take action, even as it made her more depressed. Finishing quote of the day? Don't get discouraged. Well I wasn't till you started talking Mother Dearest (though I love you most dearly!)
So after having to force myself to apply to jobs that could set my future in motion, I applied to jobs that would hopefully push me into the art world. Wherein I landed an interview as an artist assistant that was Thursday morning (read: early-o'clock). No matter, the interview turned out really well...especially since said artist had A TURTLE NAMED MILLIE!!!!! It was probably the best part of my day and certainly that interview. As for the job...we'll see what happens.
But of course, I still think about my mother's words and how affected by them I was. Which is where my sister Le Leo told me something that I am trying to take to heart because it was just so m*therf*cking profound...she said to me that "Your life is good for you right now" and you know what...that may very well be true. Babysitting and all. I shall ruminate on this...
But seriously, sometimes it's hard figuring out what the next step- scratch that it's ALWAYS hard. Nevertheless, sometimes...the lives we lead are what we are supposed to have sometimes. Sometimes...
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Sometimes...A Drink is in Order...
Today's post will mostly be about me. I know I know....but what about March and June? Welp, if you happened to troll through the random description of this blog conveniently located to your right, sometimes I will take the full opportunity to talk about being a 20-something year old in New York. The first thing that comes to mind is that with the fadiculous (note: fadiculous= f*cking+ ridiculous) amount of people that live in NYC, it is still surprisingly lonely. But that's for later.
SO...I think I'll start with how I had a job interview today. Granted, it is a temporary position, but I WILL keep my hopes alive and will hopefully get the job. That being said...I thought it was a great big old sign that a HUGE freak thunderstorm occurred right when I needed to pick up March and June from the camp bus stop. Which was promptly proceeded with hail stones. Yes...in NYC, hail storms the size of dimes. And yes...I did get hit....
Anyways, after a lax day with the tykes, I found myself in a yoga class (Yoga To The People is a great outlet for stress and body movement when you don't have monies. It's donation based so you give what you can...) and hung out with a friend of mine from college. *gAsP!* I know...I still see people my own age- and it is AWESOME. Let's call this friend...Boy Wonder. Yes. Right, so he and I hung out for drinks and you know what, it got me thinking...about how NYC can be super lonely, and make you think about things you wish to the high heavens you didn't. But what was great was that we talked about things I never really get the chance to talk about, even with my roommates, like bouts of "hoomygawd what the HELL am I doing?!?!?!?!". Mostly because I don't actually see my roommates all that often because we work odd hours of each other, and partly because I am a turtle and my room is a big old shell. Either way, it was also nice to reconnect with someone from college who I knew, but am getting to know. And is outside the BGU household. (FYI: BGU= Brown Girls United. This is what we have dubbed our house...) But honestly, how does one survive that drought of lonely that drags it's muddy shoes onto you doorstep, and what do you do once it decides it won't leave? Well gentlefolk, I guess you pour yourself a drink-or have the nice bartender do it for you...cause that could be messy....
Anyways, after a lax day with the tykes, I found myself in a yoga class (Yoga To The People is a great outlet for stress and body movement when you don't have monies. It's donation based so you give what you can...) and hung out with a friend of mine from college. *gAsP!* I know...I still see people my own age- and it is AWESOME. Let's call this friend...Boy Wonder. Yes. Right, so he and I hung out for drinks and you know what, it got me thinking...about how NYC can be super lonely, and make you think about things you wish to the high heavens you didn't. But what was great was that we talked about things I never really get the chance to talk about, even with my roommates, like bouts of "hoomygawd what the HELL am I doing?!?!?!?!". Mostly because I don't actually see my roommates all that often because we work odd hours of each other, and partly because I am a turtle and my room is a big old shell. Either way, it was also nice to reconnect with someone from college who I knew, but am getting to know. And is outside the BGU household. (FYI: BGU= Brown Girls United. This is what we have dubbed our house...) But honestly, how does one survive that drought of lonely that drags it's muddy shoes onto you doorstep, and what do you do once it decides it won't leave? Well gentlefolk, I guess you pour yourself a drink-or have the nice bartender do it for you...cause that could be messy....
Thursday, June 21, 2012
When All Else Fails...Chuck Some Water.
Yesterday and Tuesday turned out to be one of those days where many things went wrong at once.
Tuesday I wake up from a fitful slumber (it started getting hot man....good lord) to find a barrage of emails and phone calls which I promptly rubbed the sleepies from my eyes (who's really going to see me??) and cleared my throat (tres sexy). After making a second phone call, I spoke with one of my managers with my internship.
Conclusion: I had been "replaced". Replaced means fired in case you are unawares.
All I could think was...this is a load of bullsh*t. Why you might be asking was I replaced? I supposedly gave not no notice about my having to work a crazy amount of hours because the parents were filming. Mind you...I did.
So what happened next? I pouted. A LOT. I mean holy cow really? Just when I was starting to get somewhere with my life. And of course...the folks I babysit don't actually care about what happens in my life. Mostly because I'm only 22 and "hey you'll make it, we have better things to do than make sure you can pay rent and stuff oh by the way can you pick up June at..." So they don't actually know I've been fired. Also...turns out they are leaving for their family trip a week earlier than they told me. Oh...did I not mention that before? Yeah...they're awesome. {eyerolls hideously at the complete lack of consideration}.
Anyways, with the start of the random-a** heatwave, I realized I was getting overwhelming sad (again), anxious (not the first time) and overheated. Which is why I took March to the Waterpark near Chelsea Piers yesterday. And I tell you....I had a lot of fun. Throwing water at a child and having beaucoup amounts of H2O propelled right back at you while running around like a manic, helped sort some things out. Like how to dry your denim shorts really really fast. So while we were sitting under some shade, eating Turbo Rocket Pops (okay...for all of those born BEFORE 2000...we know them as Firecrackers- the red, white and blue pops), I realized that eventually, we're always coming back to square one.
Tuesday I wake up from a fitful slumber (it started getting hot man....good lord) to find a barrage of emails and phone calls which I promptly rubbed the sleepies from my eyes (who's really going to see me??) and cleared my throat (tres sexy). After making a second phone call, I spoke with one of my managers with my internship.
Conclusion: I had been "replaced". Replaced means fired in case you are unawares.
All I could think was...this is a load of bullsh*t. Why you might be asking was I replaced? I supposedly gave not no notice about my having to work a crazy amount of hours because the parents were filming. Mind you...I did.
So what happened next? I pouted. A LOT. I mean holy cow really? Just when I was starting to get somewhere with my life. And of course...the folks I babysit don't actually care about what happens in my life. Mostly because I'm only 22 and "hey you'll make it, we have better things to do than make sure you can pay rent and stuff oh by the way can you pick up June at..." So they don't actually know I've been fired. Also...turns out they are leaving for their family trip a week earlier than they told me. Oh...did I not mention that before? Yeah...they're awesome. {eyerolls hideously at the complete lack of consideration}.
Anyways, with the start of the random-a** heatwave, I realized I was getting overwhelming sad (again), anxious (not the first time) and overheated. Which is why I took March to the Waterpark near Chelsea Piers yesterday. And I tell you....I had a lot of fun. Throwing water at a child and having beaucoup amounts of H2O propelled right back at you while running around like a manic, helped sort some things out. Like how to dry your denim shorts really really fast. So while we were sitting under some shade, eating Turbo Rocket Pops (okay...for all of those born BEFORE 2000...we know them as Firecrackers- the red, white and blue pops), I realized that eventually, we're always coming back to square one.
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