Oh The Tangled Lives We Lead...

This past week has been something of a cosmic dishwasher for me. Let me explain....

Loading the dirty dishes of my life, I dealt with some random life issues as any person does. Stacking clean ones back in my cabinet so to speak, I've just had to repeat the cycle. Though I opened the cafe two consecutive days this week and proceed to babysit right after, I felt slightly on autopilot. So the whole figuring-out-my-life-at-age-22 thing has been halted. Much to my chagrin...I got lazy. There. I said it.

What didn't help is when I spoke to my mother on the phone, she proceeded to list off the ways in which I have failed since college. ~sigh~. Let me amend this phrasing: my mother, like all mothers, is a worry-wart. She frets. She fusses. She sticks her nose where is most certainly isn't needed, and so when  we talked about my lack of health insurance, it somehow became a conversation about my life and how I haven't found a good job, and how I'm not in school like my sister, and how it's hard to find a job ...this makes a girl who already has a deep inclination to worry a lot about what hasn't come to pass (cue Cate Blanchett as Elf Princess Galadriel from Lord of the Rings.) decide to continue to take action, even as it made her more depressed. Finishing quote of the day? Don't get discouraged. Well I wasn't till you started talking Mother Dearest (though I love you most dearly!)

So after having to force myself to apply to jobs that could set my future in motion, I applied to jobs that would hopefully push me into the art world. Wherein I landed an interview as an artist assistant that was Thursday morning (read: early-o'clock). No matter, the interview turned out really well...especially since said artist had A TURTLE NAMED MILLIE!!!!! It was probably the best part of my day and certainly that interview. As for the job...we'll see what happens.

But of course, I still think about my mother's words and how affected by them I was. Which is where my sister Le Leo told me something that I am trying to take to heart because it was just so m*therf*cking profound...she said to me that "Your life is good for you right now" and you know what...that may very well be true. Babysitting and all. I shall ruminate on this...

But seriously, sometimes it's hard figuring out what the next step- scratch that it's ALWAYS hard. Nevertheless, sometimes...the lives we lead are what we are supposed to have sometimes. Sometimes...

When All Else Fails...Chuck Some Water.

Yesterday and Tuesday turned out to be one of those days where many things went wrong at once.

Tuesday I wake up from a fitful slumber (it started getting hot man....good lord) to find a barrage of emails and phone calls which I promptly rubbed the sleepies from my eyes (who's really going to see me??) and cleared my throat (tres sexy). After making a second phone call, I spoke with one of my managers with my internship.

Conclusion: I had been "replaced". Replaced means fired in case you are unawares.

All I could think was...this is a load of bullsh*t. Why you might be asking was I replaced? I supposedly gave not no notice about my having to work a crazy amount of hours because the parents were filming. Mind you...I did.

So what happened next? I pouted. A LOT. I mean holy cow really? Just when I was starting to get somewhere with my life. And of course...the folks I babysit don't actually care about what happens in my life. Mostly because I'm only 22 and "hey you'll make it, we have better things to do than make sure you can pay rent and stuff oh by the way can you pick up June at..." So they don't actually know I've been fired. Also...turns out they are leaving for their family trip a week earlier than they told me. Oh...did I not mention that before? Yeah...they're awesome. {eyerolls hideously at the complete lack of consideration}.

Anyways, with the start of the random-a** heatwave, I realized I was getting overwhelming sad (again), anxious (not the first time) and overheated. Which is why I took March to the Waterpark near Chelsea Piers yesterday. And I tell you....I had a lot of fun. Throwing water at a child and having beaucoup amounts of H2O propelled right back at you while running around like a manic, helped sort some things out. Like how to dry your denim shorts really really fast. So while we were sitting under some shade, eating Turbo Rocket Pops (okay...for all of those born BEFORE 2000...we know them as Firecrackers- the red, white and blue pops), I realized that eventually, we're always coming back to square one.