Oh The Tangled Lives We Lead...

This past week has been something of a cosmic dishwasher for me. Let me explain....

Loading the dirty dishes of my life, I dealt with some random life issues as any person does. Stacking clean ones back in my cabinet so to speak, I've just had to repeat the cycle. Though I opened the cafe two consecutive days this week and proceed to babysit right after, I felt slightly on autopilot. So the whole figuring-out-my-life-at-age-22 thing has been halted. Much to my chagrin...I got lazy. There. I said it.

What didn't help is when I spoke to my mother on the phone, she proceeded to list off the ways in which I have failed since college. ~sigh~. Let me amend this phrasing: my mother, like all mothers, is a worry-wart. She frets. She fusses. She sticks her nose where is most certainly isn't needed, and so when  we talked about my lack of health insurance, it somehow became a conversation about my life and how I haven't found a good job, and how I'm not in school like my sister, and how it's hard to find a job ...this makes a girl who already has a deep inclination to worry a lot about what hasn't come to pass (cue Cate Blanchett as Elf Princess Galadriel from Lord of the Rings.) decide to continue to take action, even as it made her more depressed. Finishing quote of the day? Don't get discouraged. Well I wasn't till you started talking Mother Dearest (though I love you most dearly!)

So after having to force myself to apply to jobs that could set my future in motion, I applied to jobs that would hopefully push me into the art world. Wherein I landed an interview as an artist assistant that was Thursday morning (read: early-o'clock). No matter, the interview turned out really well...especially since said artist had A TURTLE NAMED MILLIE!!!!! It was probably the best part of my day and certainly that interview. As for the job...we'll see what happens.

But of course, I still think about my mother's words and how affected by them I was. Which is where my sister Le Leo told me something that I am trying to take to heart because it was just so m*therf*cking profound...she said to me that "Your life is good for you right now" and you know what...that may very well be true. Babysitting and all. I shall ruminate on this...

But seriously, sometimes it's hard figuring out what the next step- scratch that it's ALWAYS hard. Nevertheless, sometimes...the lives we lead are what we are supposed to have sometimes. Sometimes...

Legos My...Legos.

So I spend a lot of my time with March. By a lot I mean probably 15+ hours a week, give or take a weekday or few hours (note: I don't do the babysitting on the weekends. It's called I need time with "grown ups").

So what does this mean?

This means I spend a lot of time getting in touch with my inner 7 year old boy.  Usually, I have to figure out a way keep the little guy occupado- meaning I bust out my array of awesome quasi athletic abilities (he saw me finally throw a football full out across a blacktop at the park and he was enamored!), artsy-craftsy type ingenuity and most of all, my completely lack of architectural genius when it comes to building legos.

Now the thing about legos is that they're small. Yes we all know this D.Babysitter, why are you talking about it? Well...my hands are rather large in comparison to a six year old's, SO- those little f**king legos are and have been my worst enemy. Until recently. Now you see, I have to somehow be bury this growing animosity for legos like the lost city of Pompeii (this means violently and rapidly). But after about 8 months of being forced to play with legos, I've learned a few things:

1) March is kind of an architectural genius...for his age. The things he thinks about building are pretty awesome, and besides they're mostly Star Wars related and EVERYONE loves Star Wars. It would also explain a great deal about his being socially awkward...the artist soul young one has [Yoda voice].

2) That legos are actually pretty damn cool and so is the stuff people build with them. Especially this guy here...

3) Lego building...is REALLY cathartic. Seriously.

Now...I'm no pro, and don't really do the whole architecture thing, but alas, I'm starting to find that I have a good time. And I built this. Don't ask me what it is...cause I don't know. -shrug-

How Not to Call the Child You Babysit a BAD Word...

*frustrated sigh*

I have to sometimes remember children are children and don't understand grown up logic sometimes, despite the "grown up" language we use with them. One of my roommates, let's call her Big Red (hehehe...she is going to HATE me....but I relish the impending doom that awaits when I get home) had to tell me that after an emotionally and physically long day.

Remember when I told you I work three jobs? Well I was at the media company and had just a really rough headspace there and back. Though it should be said...if you want an unexpected workout, become an intern. Walking everywhere...WOWZAS, thighs and gluts of STEEL people! {blinks} Back to the point, I left the office just not wanting to do much but go home on a gloomy day and curl up to watch some Eureka and read my awesome book of the day: Sam Bourne's The Righteous Men. So when I got to March's house, I waited for an hour for March and his mom Producer Lady to get home. And wouldn't you know it...March was in a nasty mood.

Reason? Because he couldn't get a yogurt smoothie that his friend had at lunch. I know. I forget what it was like when I was six. But he was in such a blue state of mind that he actually became downright rude and didn't want to speak or play activities with me for nearly the entirety of the time I was with him, which averages about 3.5/4 hours a day Monday-Friday. So while I was PISSED, cause while he was upset at the smoothie, his mom brought him an excessive amount of potato chips to placate him, and he was still rude. Maybe it's a product of my own childhood, but when I didn't get something I wanted, I just dealt with it. This my friends, is not the case. Either way, he was still an unhappy little bug and I was really not having it.

So I did something unexpected. Which was not speaking also. Usually I tried cocking him with a game of Go Fish or I-Declare-War which always cheers him up. But for some reason, I felt that there was a lesson to be learned in here somewhere. So I decided to make myself a nice little construction paper collage which was amazing if I do say so myself. This also gave me a chance to curse him out in my head. Repeatedly. And I have to state that it was an amazing catharsis. Really. But what ended up being interesting was that March began testing me to see if I was noticing him. And I was...but I was really about taking care of me. Him mom was home so he would go and bug her then look at what I was doing. After about an hr of this...he finally wants to give his input about my collage. I said "thanks, but no thanks, I don't really talk to people who don't want to talk to me." With that he began to understand what he was doing. I hadn't planned on it, but we finally had a conversation about what it means to be rude, and to also learn that just because you don't get what you want doesn't mean you can be gloomy and unpersonable about it.

In any case, I got an awesome collage out of it and time to think about my life and how I need to also not pull a March- to not let everything get me down. Art isn't just about keeping a child creative and engaged, it's about keep thy sanity. I find this a win/win non?!

Until next time.