Week 3ish....Making Powerful Decisions

I sometimes find it weird how much I like kids.

Seeing as how I'll be turning 23 next month, sometimes I have to talk to my biological clock and tell it to simmer the f*ck down because I am barely an adult! I often notice this when I am working at B&N and find an insanely cute baby/child/babychild that looks at me with the "Friend or Foe" look. You know the look. You smile and wave at the little person and they give you that big blank stare with the semi frown. It almost looks the same as when they are pooping in their diaper and can't figure out what that wet sensation is. The face gentle people looks akin to this face

Anyways, I have about two more weeks of filling up my time with picking up shifts and grad school research. But I'm wondering...should I go full time at B&N? Serious decisions are afoot....

A Story of the Jobless, the Hungry, and the Wild Expectations of Mothers.

...I wonder if it would be malicious if I somehow found a full time job, w/ benefits, before the end of August JUST so that I say to the family I babysit for..."Sorry, I'm pulling a Nanny McPhee and getting the f*ck outta here. BYE!!!" I feel that a great satisfaction/vindication would come out of such a glorious moment.

It's okay...you can tell me I'm a horrible person. I think that sometimes.

All I know is...is that it is week two of not working steadily and my bank account is feeling IT. And if you knew me personally, I'm not one to lavishly spend money on myself or things I want and/or need. (please revisit the last post if you have not learned of my broke post-collegiate ways...) So it's been kinda tough. Meaning....-sigh- I'm job hunting. Still...

Anyway, about the lavishly spending money part. So last night after an extra shift I picked up at B&N, I went out to dinner with a friend of mine whom you've met on this blog, Awesome Friend! (HI Awesome Friend!!!!) Awesome Friend continues to be her namesake because of not only our disregard towards our former internship that we shared together, but because she tells me about awesome food places. This time, it was a Latin American restaurant in Brooklyn called Bogota (as in Columbia, yes.) The food? Amazing. The caparinhas? PHENOMENAL! Anyways, over deliciousness that was entering our mouths, we talked about life, job hunting, and friends who babysit for a living like myself. And now... I have a story for you that I learned from AF.

There once was a girl name Graduate. Who babysat in the Hamptons. "Her" family decided that she wasn't needed for a while so they set her free, never letting on if she would be needed again. She found another part time job and immediately was told by the Lady Mother of the family that "something came up" and that they needed her desperately. Alas, young Graduate was unavailable to work at such times needed by the matriarch of the family. When she humbly revealed such conflict to the Lady Mother, she exclaimed with great distain how Graduate must learn "to not selfish and think only of herself, as the family needs her". Graduate was overcome with hurt, and because she was timid, uttered nay an ill-formed word upon the horror that was...the Lady Mother. The End.

Crazy isn't it? And that's a true story. Now...this is actually what goes on in maybe mother's heads when they find that their babysitter isn't available. I've had Producer Lady tell she'll freak out if one day told her that I had to leave their service on many occasions.

As you read this...I hope you know that I would love to see that moment. I know...{slaps hand} I'm a bad person. But THAT...is bad employer-ship. Whatever.

Let's Throw in Some TAAAACOOOOOOSSSSSSS!

It has been a few days since my last post, and as always, my life is full of fadiculousity (note: fadiculousity= f*cking+ridiculousity. Can also be used as 'fadiculous').

This week culminates the end of week one in "So Haydee we as a family are going to our Beach House so we won't need you till about oh September..." for my babysitting job. If you are brand new to this blog, this is not the first mention of this month long I dunno what the f*ck I will do. So what HAVE I done exactly during this week? Well...stay up till 5 in the morning with my roommates making puzzles and stuff of course!!!! Respectively my roommates are Big Red whom you've met before, The Yakki, and Oaklie- Oaklie is a new addition to the house hailing from Oakland whom we LOVE and knew from college, and Happy Feet who was asleep. If she knew I named her Happy Feet for this blog she might beat me with her dance shoes...

But puzzlement aside, this has been part of a larger stress induced month. I don't work that often in the café at B&N. So on top of financial worries, I am also starting to work on my graduate school applications. Holy crap!!!!! I know. I've been working on my photo company and such and have to tell you, I'm getting excited. I updated my camera from a Canon Powershot SX 20 IS to my dreamy new Canon EOS Rebel T3 that came with not one but TWO lenses. *shivers from excitement*. Anyways, this is a beautiful camera that does so much more than my wonderful camera Binky. Yes it's name is Binky. And I type this blog on Lucinda de Mac aka Indi. Make something of it.

Anyhow, the second reason for this upgrade is for my pending photo projects that I need to complete for my portfolio and grad school applications.

What all of this means is that August has turned into a month where I can actually do this I love and need to get done. I was explaining this to a fellow internshipper like myself who I met up for lunch with earlier today. Her name (she hath dubbed herself)- Awesome Friend. Which is true. I don't see her enough. She lives far form me and I and sad. We also talk about food a LOT to each other so she is my other other Fat Soul Mate. (First and foremost will always be Big Red)  So Awesome Friend and I went for...you guessed it...TACCCCCCOOOOOOOS (insert Nacho Libre voice- a seriously underrated film by Jack Black. It's stupid funny). 1) the tacos were delicious. 2) for the twenty minutes that we were together, we had a phenomenal time.

I'll stop here. It's hot out and I'm getting sleepy....

Oh The Tangled Lives We Lead...

This past week has been something of a cosmic dishwasher for me. Let me explain....

Loading the dirty dishes of my life, I dealt with some random life issues as any person does. Stacking clean ones back in my cabinet so to speak, I've just had to repeat the cycle. Though I opened the cafe two consecutive days this week and proceed to babysit right after, I felt slightly on autopilot. So the whole figuring-out-my-life-at-age-22 thing has been halted. Much to my chagrin...I got lazy. There. I said it.

What didn't help is when I spoke to my mother on the phone, she proceeded to list off the ways in which I have failed since college. ~sigh~. Let me amend this phrasing: my mother, like all mothers, is a worry-wart. She frets. She fusses. She sticks her nose where is most certainly isn't needed, and so when  we talked about my lack of health insurance, it somehow became a conversation about my life and how I haven't found a good job, and how I'm not in school like my sister, and how it's hard to find a job ...this makes a girl who already has a deep inclination to worry a lot about what hasn't come to pass (cue Cate Blanchett as Elf Princess Galadriel from Lord of the Rings.) decide to continue to take action, even as it made her more depressed. Finishing quote of the day? Don't get discouraged. Well I wasn't till you started talking Mother Dearest (though I love you most dearly!)

So after having to force myself to apply to jobs that could set my future in motion, I applied to jobs that would hopefully push me into the art world. Wherein I landed an interview as an artist assistant that was Thursday morning (read: early-o'clock). No matter, the interview turned out really well...especially since said artist had A TURTLE NAMED MILLIE!!!!! It was probably the best part of my day and certainly that interview. As for the job...we'll see what happens.

But of course, I still think about my mother's words and how affected by them I was. Which is where my sister Le Leo told me something that I am trying to take to heart because it was just so m*therf*cking profound...she said to me that "Your life is good for you right now" and you know what...that may very well be true. Babysitting and all. I shall ruminate on this...

But seriously, sometimes it's hard figuring out what the next step- scratch that it's ALWAYS hard. Nevertheless, sometimes...the lives we lead are what we are supposed to have sometimes. Sometimes...

Sometimes...A Drink is in Order...

Today's post will mostly be about me. I know I know....but what about March and June? Welp, if you happened to troll through the random description of this blog conveniently located to your right, sometimes I will take the full opportunity to talk about being a 20-something year old in New York. The first thing that comes to mind is that with the fadiculous (note: fadiculous= f*cking+ ridiculous) amount of people that live in NYC, it is still surprisingly lonely. But that's for later.

SO...I think I'll start with how I had a job interview today. Granted, it is a temporary position, but I WILL keep my hopes alive and will hopefully get the job. That being said...I thought it was a great big old sign that a HUGE freak thunderstorm occurred right when I needed to pick up March and June from the camp bus stop. Which was promptly proceeded with hail stones. Yes...in NYC, hail storms the size of dimes. And yes...I did get hit....


Anyways, after a lax day with the tykes, I found myself in a yoga class (Yoga To The People is a great outlet for stress and body movement when you don't have monies. It's donation based so you give what you can...) and hung out with a friend of mine from college. *gAsP!* I know...I still see people my own age- and it is AWESOME. Let's call this friend...Boy Wonder. Yes. Right, so he and I hung out for drinks and you know what, it got me thinking...about how NYC can be super lonely, and make you think about things you wish to the high heavens you didn't. But what was great was that we talked about things I never really get the chance to talk about, even with my roommates, like bouts of "hoomygawd what the HELL am I doing?!?!?!?!". Mostly because I don't actually see my roommates all that often because we work odd hours of each other, and partly because I am a turtle and my room is a big old shell. Either way, it was also nice to reconnect with someone from college who I knew, but am getting to know. And is outside the BGU household. (FYI: BGU= Brown Girls United. This is what we have dubbed our house...) But honestly, how does one survive that drought of lonely that drags it's muddy shoes onto you doorstep, and what do you do once it decides it won't leave? Well gentlefolk, I guess you pour yourself a drink-or have the nice bartender do it for you...cause that could be messy....

When Every Day Feels Like Monday

I've noticed recently that there is that moment everyone has when they forget which day it is.  You know, when you wake up thinking that Friday when really it's just Tuesday or Sunday feels like Thursday.

If you haven't guessed it, this is the moment where I say 'Every day feels like Monday'.

Well...that's because it does.

The concept of weekends/days off is incredibly new to me. I worked weekends in high school, then college, because back then, I choose to, to make a bit of extra money for expenses. Too bad those expenses were not as dire as I once thought. {insert ponder bubble here as I look up forlorningly to the right}. These days, I have to work weekends just to make ends meet. I however, am not the first of my generation who has had to suffer through the weekend to pay bills {see note: TWO JOBS}. There are tons of articles about the rise of people having to work weekends and such. Anyways, back to the real point on hand....


I started babysitting again last night. And as much as I try to be uber blasé about it, I really missed March and June. I picked them up from the bus stop of their day camp, and took them for some FroYo. (Yes...I said FroYo...aka...Frozen Yogurt... like a 90s pop baby. Whatever). To which we spent all of our time laughing and talking about their trip to France and their first day at camp. Our genuine excitement about seeing each other even went so far as us making up a dance routine together where March was "breakdancing", June and I were his backup dancers, and Daddy Camera was surprised at our awesome dance skills.  The kids were also super excited to show me the souvenir they got me, which was...an Eiffel Tower keychain. You don't know this, neither did they, but I collect keychains from places I go, so it fit right in with my other keychains in my collection! (I know...I'm a nerd...but I'm ADORABLE so it's okay)


Needless to say, this excitement may not last, but who knows....o_O. Either way...Mondays don't seem too too bad (though my sleep pattern is f***ed up ROYALLY)

I Will Survive If Gloria Gaynor Lets Me!!!!

Week One has passed dear readers, and I have not died.

Seeing as how my last post was in June, I have to say a lot and equally nothing has happened since July rolled around. I decided to actually view this "abandonment of my job" as an actual vacation. And I can honestly say I had forgotten what a vacation feels like. I haven't technically had one in years, so this is a new and strange feeling for me honestly. The being idle...the free time...ability to do laundry....but it's been really good! I remembered that there are things that I haven't done in forever...like sleep. Or perform as an artist (I had a show last night) or hang out with my twenty-something year old friends  (I forgot people my age existed!) or even...dare I say it...be lazy and watch a stupid amount of television and go to movies.

This may come a shock to you, but I generally have a hard time giving myself time to relax and recoop. So alas...I am just hanging out the days I don't barista. Which I have to say is nice. And besides...my bed has missed me so....